For me, 2021 is a year of finally buying a new COVID-19 facemask (after my first batch of handmade masks ... made by my ex-girlfriend ... had way outlived both the 'few months' we'd all thought the COVID pandemic would last and their own frayed elastics).
In terms of love, this was a year of 'close but no cigar' on four different occasions. Totally different women, totally different reasons for breaking up, but the end result - wistful memories and tears and disappointment - still remarkably alike each time.
Professionally, if 2021 had a label it would be "Let's do all the things we improvised in 2020 while working from home and livestreaming everything ... and try do it a little bit better and more professionally this time around." It was a year of incremental improvements, increasingly frayed nerves, more staff resignations, more e-mails starting with "I'm sorry but..."
I know I'm not alone in this. I've seen a news story just today about a survey where the majority of participants agreed that 2021 was a terrible year for them not only personally but professionally as well. So I guess I'll draw some comfort from not being alone in the experience, even if I am still alone physically (not least a sensible 2m away from everyone - thanks again, COVID-19).
For the sake of posterity I should probably note that at the time of writing this, it looks like we've survived South Africa's fourth wave of COVID-19 infections. I personally got the Delta infection in July this year (and survived without hospitalisation - although I felt sick and had to get medicine for the symptoms), and got the two shots of the Pfizer vaccine. Next year I get to look forward to the third booster shot.
I'm sorry if I sound so pessimistic. There is hope as well. Hope in the improving statistics surrounding survivability and transmission, as vaccination rates in the country steadily increase. Hope in the reduction of stories around people's loved ones and friends dying. Hope in the continued low lockdown level and its ever-reduced curfew hours (currently 23:00-04:00 if I've got it right ... I can't be bothered to check).
What will all of this mean fifty years in the future? Will I remember it? Or will these magical words and phrases be lost to time. If they are, it will be no loss. COVID-19 might have helped so many of us work from home, and forced our employers to digitize their operations in ways we could never have imagined less than two years ago. I used to personally generate reams of paperwork which had to be printed out, signed and scanned back in dutifully ... and digital signatures of PDFs have eliminated all of that. While some people are still close friends of a printer, I'm happy to say that I'm no longer.
How will I remember 2021? I will remember this as the year of falling in love with a woman I had to eventually file a formal missing person's case for through the SAPS (not a recommended experience). That case is still open. Like so much else in 2021, closure is hard to come by.
This year I also passed my firearm competency testing and applied for my competency certificate with the SAPS. Our beloved SAPS (the Southern African Police Services - god forbid I forget that) are taking a mere 12 months to process the application, so 2022 should allow me to purchase a handgun and apply for a firearm licence ... which will take another 12 months to process. Something to look forward to in 2023, I guess: the ability to defend myself.
Let me not forget the noteworthy deaths of this year. Closest to home: my uncle Peter. There's a lot I could say about that, but not much of that which I wish to put to (digital) paper. I flew down to Cape Town to attend the memorial service, and it was extremely emotional (overlapping as it did with the latest chapter of the 'falling in love' saga mentioned above). A bit further but still close: the marketing manager for my client, Marius. Further out yet ... Desmond Tutu. And that woman from Egoli. And FW de Klerk. And ... *sighs*
This has been a year where I think 'tried my best' summarises it. I've given my all to 2021. Absolutely every last shred of myself. There have been successes along the way. There have been the highest highs. I am not mentioning all of them here, but ... not enough.
And that's the sticky part, isn't it? After 2020 and surviving the first year of our very first pandemic, AND the most painful breakup of my life, I know I'd had high hopes for 2021. I don't know now if I didn't deliver on those hopes, or if they're all just slow-burn works-in-progress.
I've worked more on my personal website and plan to promote it some more this December holiday. I bought a laptop for myself (after getting frustrated at wasting all my money on women who were no longer in my life). I'm writing this article on this new laptop now, sitting at a Mugg n Bean, about to go to the next door cinema soon and watch Spiderman's 'No way home' in IMAX 3D. It's a small step in the direction I want to be heading in, and right now at this very moment, god knows I'll accept any small step in the right direction I can get.
So 2021 ... sleep well. RIP. Farewell. Thank you for some things. Fuck you very much for others.
2022: hello baby. Where've you been all my life? I've been waiting for you. Let's make some magic together.
